Like most Americans, I like to read the dictionary for fun. It is cheaper than online poker and more educational than fly fishing, unless you count life lessons. I have never been happy with the dictionary's definitions, however. So I have "improved" the definitions myself for these (actual) words:
absconce: to take off with someone's wall fixtures
bactericide: what happens when germs get melancholy
cella: folksy way of saying "cello"
damnification: the frustrating inability to find the focus setting you want on a microscope
debel: a teen girl who rebels at her coming-out party
dehort: de most important parta de body besides de brain
eclaircise: my kind of aerobics!
egestion: what a digital stomach does
emmew: what French cats say
estival: a carnival after people have gotten the f out
factitious: truthy
famulus: stylish; see also: "awesob"
felloe: another word for "guye"
fissicostate: a school whose football team you have never heard of
gabbro: a guy who talks too much
gauffer: a small tunnel-dwelling, limousine-driving mammal
geloscopy: an annual checkup of your pudding
hamshackle: a really run-down pig
herbose: the inability to shut up about one's garden
iamatology: the study of where you are at
idempotent: not exactly something you should shout from the rooftops
ignotism: hypnotism for stupid people
impest: the most imp
jetavator: the quickest way to the penthouse
judogi: what sleeps at the foot of ju bed
juglandaceous: much less sexy than it sounds
kakorrhaphiophobia: fear of kakorrhaphios.
lavadero: a cowboy with a hand washing compulsion
logogriph: a giant mythical flying swoosh
macaronic: noodlish
magpiety: subscribing to religious publications just for show
manometer: for taking the measure of a man
nunnation: the degree to which a Catholic school education sinks in
narcohypnia: I don't know, but it sounds like fun
obambulate: to walk like the president
oecist: a person who is rabidly, unapologetically against o's
pabulous: pantastic
pettifogger: someone who has not yet gotten deeply into fogging
pistology: the study of being really mad
rood: too impolite to spell things properly
shivaree: what you get when you spend too much time in the cold
sinistrorse: what the Headless Horseman rides
tachyscope: a scope which wears white after Labor Day
tentation: that feeling you get while camping that a nap would be nicer than a hike
Well, look at that. I am only up to my t's but out of time. I guess I will have to leave u to z for another day.
. . .
